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Wedding Planning: Six Ways to Involve Mum

It's Mother's Day in the UK this month and it has got me thinking about how mums, step mums, mother in laws, godmothers and grandmothers are involved in planning weddings.

I've got girls who are of primary school age, so in my mind, I've fast forwarded a couple of decades and am thinking about how they might go about planning their own weddings. I'd like to think I'll be involved in their plans in some way, but I also want them to have the weddings THEY want, not what I think they'd want.

I'm going to try to remember that their priorities will naturally be different to mine. I'll also try to keep in mind that my view of what is essential and desirable will be different to theirs and their partners.

I hope my children will honour some of the family traditions, especially those passed on by older generations, but I'd also like to think they'll start their own too.

Girls, if you are reading this in years to come, feel free to show it to me and remind me what I have just said. Love you millions xxx

Your mum, your parents or extended family might already be heavily involved in wedding planning, suggestions and decision making, or they could be leaving you to it. You might be happy to have the extra support and ideas, or the suggestions might be overwhelming you and making wedding planning more difficult. Either way, this blog post will help you by making giving a few suggestions on how Mum or other close relatives can be involved in your wedding planning.

1) Wedding Venue Search

Now restrictions are starting to be lifted, the wedding planning has begun in earnest. There will up to three years worth of engaged couples all to reserve dates and book venues and wedding suppliers. Wedding venues in the UK will need to book even further in advance and new venues will need to be available to keep up with high demand. Ask Mum to help you search for venues locally, check availability and contact potential venues about venue tours or show rounds.

At the time of writing the UK is starting to come out of lockdown 3.0 meaning venue tours, open days and face to face consultations are not currently permitted but the industry is hopeful this will change soon. Most venues have links to tours on their social media or websites or you can sign up to receive an email link. Some venues are conducting tours by video conferencing, so you could add Mum to the call on note taking duty, leaving you free to discuss options with the wedding co-ordinator.

Once you've chosen your wedding venue and booked your wedding date you could invite your relatives to visit with you on open days or previews. There is nothing more exciting than visiting your venue ahead of your wedding - let Mum share in your excitement!

2) Memory Lane

Dust off the old photo albums and look through family wedding photos. It's fun to look at wedding trends from years gone by. You'll also get an idea about yours and your partner's family traditions. Your mum or grandmother might have a favourite flower you could include in your bouquet, or there may be an heirloom piece of wedding décor that you'd like to include in your wedding styling. Ask Mum what was memorable or special about her own wedding day, it may give you ideas for your celebrations. Relatives may also have sensible advice and suggestions on what not to do!

3) Say Yes to the Dress

I think every mum would be thrilled to be asked to go wedding shopping with their child. They can share in the excitement and probably know what suits so best so could make suggestions on dresses styles to try. Who doesn't love an afternoon of shopping? Most bridal shops make this such a special and memorable occasion in itself, it would be lovely to have Mum there.

4) A Day Out with Mum

Your mum will want to wear clothing that she is happy with, but will also want you to have an input in choosing the all important outfit. Go shopping together and make a special day of it. Treat Mum to lunch and make it a memorable part of the wedding planning process.

If you're reading this and we're still in lockdown, then why not agree a date and pop it in the diary or book a table for later in the year, this way, you both have something to look forward to and have booked the time aside for when things get busier.

5) Family Peace Keeper

The wedding industry is going through a big shift. Coronavirus restrictions have made smaller more intimate weddings more commonplace. Couples who hadn't ever considered eloping or planning a micro wedding are thinking about how they could celebrate with just a handful of guests from their immediate family. If you plan to go ahead with a smaller celebration then your mum could help with tackling the difficult decision of who will be invited and can help manage family expectations on your behalf. It is probably best to check your mum is happy with this tricky role.

Another time consuming wedding planning job is organising the guest seating plan for your reception. Perhaps Mum can help you in organising who sits where?

6) New, Borrowed, Old and Blue

If you're a fan of wedding traditions you could involve your mum in finding something new, old, borrowed and blue. Old symbolises continuity, new is for optimism for the future (we all need this at the moment), the borrowed object symbolises you borrowed happiness and the blue represents purity, love, and fidelity.

There are bound to be some I've missed, these may seem obvious or you may have lots of ideas of your own. If, however, you aren't sure about how your own mum or special relative would want to be involved, you could always ask them? Their answer may surprise you!

Happy wedding planning,


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